I have always looked at parenting in a different way than many of my friends. I rarely mourn the passing of one stage to the next and look forward to the new challenges that await around each turn of the halfling calendars. I think back and find it hard to fully remember the challenging times of most stages. Sure, there are a few highlight reels that will always play for each of my kiddos, but overall, I think the human brain just preserves itself by having amnesia a bit to just how hard it is to be responsible for tiny humans.

My son has always been relatively easy to deal with. Reading back on my past entries, I am reminded that things were not as sunshine and daisy filled as I may imagine now. He has always been my first...the trailblazer. I have tons of entries describing his early days, but to catch up, we discovered he was officially diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive in the fourth grade. Now that we had this diagnosis, we were able to find a treatment for him and create an IEP for him that finally allowed him to at least keep up in classes. He started middle school on a better footing and found a new group of friends. Around that time he dove headfirst into online video gaming. Became obsessed with Overwatch and found his own online world of friends. Soccer went by the wayside and we allowed him to embrace his gaming passion. He had his first girlfriend in the 7th grade and they were together for about a year. They broke up because he just was a bit too into gaming and she wasn't. To this day, they are still good friends which is nice. His 8th grade year was cut short thanks to the shitstorm that March 2020 brought about. He spent his entire ninth grade year plugged into his computer and wasn't able to really make those new friends that he should have with starting high school. Then this year, he decided to try out for the school soccer team since they were starting school in person in 2021. My little sports kid was back. But now standing at nearly 6ft tall and playing with the big boys. Now, here we are, looking at a summer full of going to college prospect camps and trying to get the path laid a bit for playing college soccer. He also is running track this spring to improve his speed. He has another girlfriend now after starting school and finding a whole new group of people to hang with.

Parenting a 16yr old brings about it an entirely new book of worries and stress. He's going to take his learner's test next weekend so soon will be driving. The constant juggling of schoolwork, sports, and social life is new to me. But we are getting by!

All I can think is that in just a few short years, my baby boy is going to no longer be just mine. He's going to fly away and only come back for a short landing from time to time. I have no fear that he will always be there for a huge smile and hug like he has always been since day one. He is one of the sweetest humans I know. But soon I'm going to have to share him...and I don't like it!

Whatever he decides to do with his life, I know he's going to rock it. And I can only hope to always be there for him.

I swear, something is going on with all the kids this week! I have heard nothing but horror stories of my friends' kids' behavior, my son included!

Upon coming home last night, I am greeted by Chris saying, "We'll see what your mother has to say about this!" I wanted to just turn around and leave.

Apparently, Carter's behavior book for yesterday was atrocious. All sad faces and a note written in by his teacher. He apparently did not do his work in timely manner yesterday (as usual) but also was found in the bathroom throwing wet paper towels around. When I asked him why he did that, he just said that he wanted to. Come to find out, he told Chris that he was doing it because he wanted a "free day" meaning he knew that if he got caught, he had the chance of going home. WHAT?!?!?! What in the freaking hell? This starts at age 8?? I lit into him after hearing that. All the while, he's standing there staring at me with his wounded puppy look. When I finally got to the part where I told him I was very disappointed in him, the tears starting coming. I took a few more digs at him telling him that I was sure his teacher was extremely disappointed too.

Then, Chris tells me that his teachers from Open Door (his before and after care) took Chris aside yesterday and mentioned that Carter has been giving them some major attitude lately, eye rolling, sighing, talking back.

I just am at a loss. Carter is not a good student. I am DREADING third grade with him. That is when it amps up immensely and he's not ready for it. Part of me wants him to fail and have to repeat a grade just to show him how important this school time is. And I have how many more years of this???

So, now I'm off to his school for an end-of-the-year event and then I have to talk to his teacher after school lets out. I just do not know what to do with this kid.